State of Grace
by MaryFan1
Summary: Kate Beckett is not real happy to have a writer following her around but soon she may realize just how much she needs Richard Castle. Involves sensitive matters of sexual assault


She hated hospitals. The smells, the sense of death being near. She sat in an emergency room dazed and confused. She had woken up in her bed completely naked, bruised, between her legs. Which could only mean one thing. She managed to call Lanie, her best friend, as well as a medical examiner, who immediately brought her in for a SART kit.

"Sweetie, do you need anything?" Lanie asks as they wait for the doctor.

"How could I have let this happen?" Is all she can say, "I'm a cop."

"That doesn't make you immune." Lanie says

"It should make me smarter." She replies quietly

Lanie squeezes her hand, "This isn't your fault."

/

 **A MONTH LATER**

Her day couldn't have gotten worse. After feeling nauseous when she got up she found out that a a mystery writer was going to be shadowing her for his next novel, set in New York, with a female police detective. He was a pal of Mayor Bob Weldon so her captain had made it clear she was to cooperate.

"Detective Beckett, Richard Castle." Captain Montgomery introduces them

"Detective, it's a real pleasure." Castle says shaking her hand

Richard Castle, she thought, his books had been on her mother's bookshelves, "Welcome to the NYPD, Mr. Castle."

"Well, Castle's signed all the obligatory forms and so he's ready to be put to work." Montgomery informs her

"Great." She fakes a smile, "Sir, can I speak to you privately please. Mr. Castle, why don't you get some coffee and take a seat at my desk. I'll be there in a minute."

"Sure." He says and takes his leave

"Sir, "She says turning back to Montgomery, "I have a job to do. I can't be worried about a tag a long civilian. He'll just be in my way."

"The mayor made it clear and so did I." Montgomery reminds her, 'Find some way to keep him occupied looking at case files or something that will keep him out of your hair."

She signs heavily, "Fine. But if it gets in the way of doing my job I'm going to say something."

She leaves and Montgomery just shakes his head.

She returns to her desk to find Castle waiting for her, "So, Mr. Castle, I hope you don't mind sitting watching me do paperwork. Although I think it's a little creepy."

"I don't mind at all." He replies with a smile, "I want everything to be authentic in my novel."

"Well, being a cop is not as glamorous as it sounds." She says, "Even homicide. Usually the cases are pretty ordinary."

"Yeah but every now and then we get one that's Beckett flavored." A voice interjects, that of Javier Esposito a fellow detective

"Beckett flavored?" Castle asks

"Beckett loves the weird ones." Esposito explains

"And it looks like we got one." Esposito's partner, Kevin Ryan, chimes in, "54th and Lex."

"Let's go." Beckett says as she grabs her coat

They start to walk away except Castle, "Hey Castle, you coming or what?"

"Oh, I get to go with you?" he asks in surprise

"Either that or finish my paperwork." She teases

"Crime scene, paperwork?" He pretends to weight the option, "Crime scene." He says with a grin and joins them

They arrive at the crime scene and it is indeed Beckett flavored. A woman stuffed in a safe with her wedding ring finger chopped off.

"Our victim is Joanne Delgado, Her daughter, Susan, called but no answer so she came over. Found the door ajar." A uniform officer explains, "I'll show you to the bedroom."

They all follow the officer upstairs and what they find is a gruesome sight. Lanie is already there doing a preliminary exam. Beckett is hit with smell of blood and feels herself about vomit.

"Excuse me." She says and finds the nearest waste basket and hurls into it. The others look at her in disbelief. Beckett could handle anything.

"Are you sick?" Lanie asks

"No, I'm fine." She says as she regroups but has gone sickly pale, "Can you estimate a time of death?" She continues as her stomach churns

"Between eleven and one a.m. Last night." Lanie says, "But I'll get you something more certain after I get her to the lab."

"Thanks, Lanie." Kate says, "Guys, would you finish up here. We'll head back."

"Yeah, sure." Espo says, "You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She replies, "Let's go Castle."

/

After returning to the precinct Beckett feels slightly better. She can't be sick. She's never sick. And she certainly doesn't lose her cookies at a crime scene.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Castle asks, "I mean, that was a lot of blood."

"No more than we usually see Castle." She says, "And I'm fine. I may have eaten something that didn't agree with me. But I'm okay now."

"Okay, so what happens now?" He asks

"Well, we question neighbors, anyone who might have seen or heard something around the time of death. The daughter will need to come in for further questioning."

"The daughter?" He asks

"Just to help us with a timeline, if she can, give us any information that might help."

Castle nods in understanding, "That must be the hardest part. Dealing with the victims, I mean."

She sighs heavily, "It's never easy. No matter how many times you do it. I'm gonna get some coffee. You want some?"

"No, thanks." he says

She gets up from her chair and heads to break room and pours a cup of coffee and Castle hears a clanging sound which has him up and investigating. He finds her gripping the counter, her coffee cup in the sink.

"Are you alright?" He asks

"Yeah, just got dizzy." She explains

"Look, I'm new here and all but maybe you should go to the doctor."

"Castle, I'm fine." She insists again

"Okay, okay." He says, "But maybe lay off the coffee?"

She nods in agreement

/

After speaking with Susan Delgado and running down some more leads based on previous home invasions, they decide to call it a night. Beckett returns to her apartment and makes a quick phone call.

"Lanie, can you get here ASAP?" Kate says and in twenty minutes her friend is there

"What's going on?" She asks as Kate lets her in

"This." She holds up a pregnancy test

"Kate, don't tell me you think..."

"I'm never sick, Lanie. Losing my lunch at a crime scene. Later I got dizzy when I was in the break room."

"Sweetie, it may be a bug or food poisoning." Lanie says

"I know but I have to know." She says, "I didn't want to do this alone."

Lanie takes her hand and squeezes it, "I'm here. Go ahead."

Kate nods and walks into the bathroom and then waits for the longest five minutes of her life.

"It's time." she says and Lanie takes her hand and they return to the bathroom together and look at the test with it's two pink lines.

"Oh god." Kates says covering her mouth, "Oh god."

Lanie pulls her into a hug, "It's okay. I'm here. We'll figure this out together."

She nods slightly, tears streaming down her face.


End file.
